When Thea was born I had every intention of going back to work. I had been working since I was 15. It was what I knew and a part of who I was. Then she was born and I spent a month going back and forth. By staying home I would be sacrificing income, ‘me time’, and a part of who I was but I knew it’s what I wanted. My mom stayed home with me and my siblings and I feel like it made a huge difference in how we grew up.
Thea just turned four months old. For the last couple months I have been a source of food, human tissue, and sleep deprived. I have also been a comforter, outfit maker, nurturer, and mother. There have been many days where I feel frayed at the ends. Often questioning what I’m doing wrong and right. I’ve wondered whether or not being a stay at home mom was the right decision. Today I got my answer.
Thea and I went out shopping for some fun girl time. As we meandered the isles she smiled back at me. We got to the check out and the cashier asked me how old she was. I told her she was four months and she rolled over for the first time today. She said, “aren’t you glad you were home?” And then she looked directly at me and it felt like God was talking through her when she said, “that’s why you stay home.” And it clicked.
I realize how lucky I truly am. Some mother’s do not have a choice. I get the privilege to watch her grow and see the fun milestones. I will never take that for granted.