Do you even eat? Men like a woman with meat on her bones. Real women have curves. You have it so easy. Oh and my personal favourite, go eat a hamburger. I’ve heard these things countless times in my life. I usually just laugh it off and move on. Unfortunately, I know that it is not just me that has had to endure this. Sadly we live in a world that no matter what size you are something is wrong with you.
Skinny people need to gain weight. Fat people need to loose weight. Skinny men need to gain muscle. Muscly men need to not be too muscly. Does anyone else see a problem here?
My entire life I have been ‘skinny shamed.’ When Meagan Trainer’s song “All About That Bass” came out I was in High School. Can you imagine being a teenager and hearing a song that says no one should accept you for the way that you are? I am all for you accepting your curves and body type but do not body shame someone in the process. It sunk deep. It made me reevaluate everything about myself. It made me angry that it was okay to skinny shame. I’m one of the ‘lucky’ people that can eat anything and I do not gain weight. Although, the same people that call me ‘lucky’ tell me I should eat a hamburger because I am too skinny. It took me a long time for me to accept my skinny body and there are still things about it that I would like to change.
Recently, my husband and I have been trying to live a healthier lifestyle. In my workout routine I do Zumba once a week. At first, I didn’t think I was going to like it. We dance in front of a studio mirror wall. The first few weeks all I could see where my noodle arms flailing about and my hair jumping out of place. A few weeks in a heard someone say something that put everything into perspective. They said, “Don’t worry about what you look like everyone is probably so self-conscious about themselves they aren’t even looking at you.” She was so right. I was magnifying my insecurities so much that I hadn’t even bothered to think that everyone around me was feeling the same way. The only reason I was insecure is because my whole life I’ve been told I’m too skinny. After that I tried to take a different approach. Each class I force myself to find one great feature about myself that night. It has seriously changed my perspective on that class and life.
The whole point is if we are fixating on our flaws because of what we are told is ‘perfect’ we will never have good self-worth. I believe we are simply fixating on our flaws because we live in a world where body shamming has become normal. So why do we do it? Why do we put each other through this? I believe the media has a big part in it. They have skewed our vision so much that we have a vision of what a perfect person should look like and if we do not meet that expectation then something is wrong with us. They have normalized perfect skin and an ideal body type and their standards are always changing. Unfortunately, we as a society are accepting their standards of ‘perfect.’ We then project that ‘perfection’ on everyone else and ourselves.
Perhaps there are more important things to write about but this has been on my mind lately. I do not claim to be perfect myself. There have been occasions where I have judged someone solely on their appearance but I’m working on it. I don’t completely accept my body type but I am working on self love. Let’s stop the trend of body shaming. The road to better standards and personal self worth starts with us. With ‘swim suit’ season coming up I want to tell you that you are perfect just the way you are!